The Oldest Among Us May Need Us to Speak Slowly

My father is in his early 80s.  He’s lived a long and accomplished life and has several things to be proud of.  Known to us as a lifelong electrical engineer, he got into ham radio as a teenager and came back to it in retirement, working up through this year to sell, assemble and support ham radio kits for customers.  Somewhere in between, his engineering career included designing circuits for the Accu-Chek line of blood glucose meters for Boehringer Mannheim and later Roche Diagnostics.  While his work is far from all he is, he has decent intelligence and has applied it throughout his life.

But our bodies age, if we’re lucky, as for those who make it into their 70s and 80s, things start to slow down.  This can manifest itself in many ways, including physical challenges, issues with movement or motor skills, as well as mentally.  My dad hasn’t escaped such challenges.  But I became aware of a new one this Christmas that I’d like to point out to those of us who might be too young to appreciate it.

My sister has three children, all of whom are currently teenagers.  They’re energetic, full of life, curious, busy, pursuing their interests and education.  They’re great kids.  And as their uncle, I’m not biased at all.

This Christmas Eve, after spending time together, my dad let my mom and I know that he hadn’t really been able to understand the grandkids.  From his perspective, they talk too fast for him to pick up on what they’re saying.  I heard him at the time and felt sympathy and regret, but I didn’t fully register it.

Then we spent some time together again on Christmas afternoon.  Afterward, dad remarked again that he hadn’t been able to understand much of what the kids said, and asked if mom and I had.  We had, of course.  They talk like young people, but not particularly fast.  He said he wished they could slow down to accommodate him, and mom gently reminded him that they can’t slow down if they aren’t aware of the issue.  He acknowledged that reality.

Afterward, I thought about it, and I’d previously noted my mom speaking slower to my dad than she speaks at other times.  She must have already learned of the need to speak slower around him so that he doesn’t have issues with comprehension.

Now that I’ve observed this lesson two days in a row, I hope to speak slowly and thoughtfully when talking with my dad.  I hope that others may register this necessity as well before they reach the point in their lives where they need it for themselves.  Aging comes with plenty of challenges, and many of us are going to learn a lot more about them sooner or later.  I wanted to share the challenge regarding the rate of speech and comprehension, as it wasn’t obvious to me and may not be obvious to others.

I share this with the intent of raising awareness, and not to make anyone feel bad, least of all, members of my own family.